Don’t Be An Iffing Idiot!

Thoughts of “What If” In Your Head

My latest “what if” thought was “What if I wrote a post about what ifs?” This was inspired by a beautiful woman friend who commented on Facebook that thoughts of “what ifs” were running around in her head. I don’t know if these were troubling “what ifs” or uplifting ones. But it got me thinking, and the phrase I use as my title above just popped into my head. It’s serendipitous and spontaneous mind eruptions like this that allow me to sometimes think of myself as an iffing genius.

We all have what ifs pop up from time to time, and these are colored by what is going on in our lives at the time, and whether we come from a basic emotional foundation of optimism or pessimism. And some of us swing back and forth between those two states. My own life model, which I am elaborating on in the prison memoir I am now writing–as well as the one man show I recently presented in a short workshop form at San Francisco’s famed Marsh Theatre–is to get the negative what ifs out of the way to make room for the positive ones. A way I do this is by my old Moneylove strategy of drowning out the negative little voice in my head, the one Buddhists call “monkey mind,” and I call simply Stanley, with a sea of positive voices.

Translated into a What If format, this means dealing with the worst case scenario before moving on to the best case scenarios. At least in my life, I find there may be one huge worse case possibility, but many best case alternatives. For instance, sitting in a cell in the depressingly dreary and dilapidated Folsom State Prison, I could easily conjure up a what if scenario that had me fading, losing my creative powers, emerging from incarceration a broken man as so many fellow inmates seemed destined to do. Instead, I visualized many positive What Ifs. For instance:

1. What if I could be paroled after turning my debilitating experience into an immensely positive one, so that I could inspire others into transcending their own obstacles and adversities?

2. What if I could write a bestselling book about my prison experience that was filled with humor, and wisdom, and practical strategies for anyone to use to escape their self-imposed prison sentences?

3. What if I could be a guest on Oprah and amaze her with my story?

4. What if I could be released after 12 years of incarceration looking and feeling and acting smarter, healthier, and younger than when I went in?

5. What if I could turn this experience that many viewed as tragic and catastrophic  into a spiritual and creative awakening that took me to new heights in consciousness and allowed me to leave an even larger thumbprint on the world?

Obviously, in 12 years, I came up with a lot more “what ifs,” but most were in this spirit. I didn’t run away from the bad ones, just diminished their potency by inundating my imagination with positive ones. After all, it’s all fantasy, it’s all a movie we create inside our own heads. If we take responsibility and practice accountability for our own script, cast, and artistic direction–and decide we are making an uplifting, funny, sweet, and loving film, how can it turn out other than inspiring and fun to watch?

Most What Ifs just don’t happen. And if that is so, we may as well enjoy the process itself.  I am blessed in that a lot of my good ones turned out to be true. I haven’t finished the book, but a very prestigious literary agent is excited about selling it to publishers and a possible movie producer. I may not look younger, but I feel great and it’s getting better every day. Oprah ended her powerful show, but started her own cable network, so my new What If involves her offering me my own show on that network once my book is out. And since I was already a guest on her show back when it was just on in Chicago, that is not as unrealistic a what if as it might seem. And I am feeling a much, much greater surge of creative energy than I ever did before, as well as a much greater sense of peace and joyful contentment. I turned a lot of my What Ifs into What Is.

Your Inner Feast

Each of us prepares the meal with which we feed our consciousness. If you choose healthy, delicious ingredients, and prepare them expecting it to turn out wonderful, you end up with a joyful feast. If you choose spoiled, ugly ingredients, and carelessly prepare them, you end up with food poisoning. The path you choose (and you can change this at any moment) determines whether you are an Iffing Idiot or an Iffing Genius.

Jerry